Sometimes I doubt.
Sometimes I wonder where God is.
It’s not that I don’t believe He exists. I’ve had to many experiences of the mysterious and the miraculous to doubt the existence of God.
It’s just sometimes… He seems absent.
Sometimes I experience the absence of God.
I guess it’s like when you have a party or something and one of your friends doesn’t show up. You experience the absence of your friend. You feel the lack of presence of your friend.
Sometimes I feel that about God.
But then I attend a church service or youth event and it’s all about certainty. There doesn’t seem any room for doubt. Any room to discuss the experience of absence.
“God exists. Here’s what he’s saying. Here’s what you need to do. End”
We sing about this certainty. We hear about this certainty.
But sometimes I’m not certain. And that’s okay. It shouldn’t be a dirty secret.
Peter Rollins suggests that on the cross, Jesus experiences this absence of God. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
It’s not that Jesus thinks God doesn’t exist. It’s the fact he’s experiences the absence of God for the first time.
It makes me wonder what a service or youth event that embraced doubt and the experience of it would look like?
What would a worship song that embraced doubt and the experience of it sound like?